Sex Life

Unhappy In Bed?  Should You Talk to Your Partner?

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Are you in a relationship?  If you are, are you currently happy with your sex life or the level of intimacy that you and your partner share?  If not, you may be unsure as to how to proceed.  You may be interested in talking to your partner, but you may also be nervous and fearful at the same time. 

So, is it a good idea to let your partner know that you are unhappy in bed?  Of course it is.  A dull or boring sex life can have a negative impact on a relationship.  It is also important to note that an open line of communication is an important component of a happy and healthy relationship, both in the physical and emotional sense.  If you cannot talk to your partner about sex, how do you honestly expect your relationship to continue on?

As it was previously stated, communication is key to a successful relationship and not just in the bedroom.  If you can talk to your partner about sex, you can likely talk to them about anything.  This means that your relationship is less likely to suffer from a lack of communication or poor communication.  This may translate into less arguments and more time in the bedroom.

Another reason why you should talk to your partner if you are currently unhappy with the intimacy received is because it will improve.  The last thing that your partner wants to hear is that they aren’t providing you with enough pleasure and excitement.  As soon as your wants, needs, and desires are openly discussed, your intimacy levels may skyrocket.  It is also important to note that you will eventually end up being more satisfied in bed.

Another reason why all intimacy problems should be discussed with your partner is because they too can be satisfied more.  When you do bring about the discussion of sex but sure not to just focus on your wants, needs and desires.  Ask your partner for input as well.  They may have their own suggestions.  To have a happy and healthy relationship, as well as sex life, both of you need to be satisfied.  Pleasure should not be one sided only.

Although there are a number of pros and cons to talking about your unhappiness in bed with your partner, there are also a number of downsides to doing so as well.  One of those being difficulty.  For many men and women, the subject of sex can be discomforting to talk about.  Add in the fact that you are expressing displeasure or the need for change and an uncomfortable situation may ensure. 

It is also important to note that talking about your unhappiness in bed can also have an adverse, negative effect on your relationship.  Yes, it is important to have an open line of communication in any serious relationship, but there are some things that people just do not want to hear.  Do not be surprised if your partner gets defensive when talking to you.  In fact, you may want to prepare for it.  It is natural for both men and women to get defensive when they are essentially being told that their sex isn’t good enough and needs improvement.

If you do decide to talk to your partner about improving your intimacy in the bedroom, just be sure to use caution and your best judgment.  Do not criticize your partner and try to not make them feel inadequate.  Gently approaching the situation has a number of benefits, including the elimination of hurt feelings.  It also better allows you to have an open, honest, and mature discussion.

As a reminder, there are a number of pros and cons to talking to your partner about your unhappiness with your intimacy.  With that being, the end result is often well worth the discussion.  Just remember to be careful about your approach, as how you start the conversation and what you say during it may have a significant impact on the outcome.

 

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5 Easy Ways for Parents to Spice Up the Intimacy

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Are you married?  If you are, are you also a parent?   If you are married and a parent, how is your sex life?  Depending on the age of your children and the size of your family, it might not be great.  Many parents wish that they had a better level of intimacy with their partner and on more occasions.  If you are one of those individuals, there are a number of steps that you will want to take.

When it comes to intimacy in a relationship, it is important to remember that more than the bedroom and sex is and should be involved.  Does your intimacy only get started when you climb into bed?  If so, there may lay the problem. 

If you are a parent, you will want to consider using the service of a babysitter.  This will enable you and your spouse to get out of the house and enjoy time alone.  In fact, you can even have a “real,” date.  Go to dinner and a movie with your spouse.  Unfortunately, many married couples find themselves entering into a comfort zone that results in their relationship feeling more like a friendship than a marriage.  Do not let your relationship get to this point.  Dating is a nice and easy way to prevent that from happening.

In addition to hiring a babysitter, rely on a trusted friend or family member.  What is nice about taking this approach is the comfort level.  Instead of picking a babysitter out of a phone book, you are entrusting the care of your children into someone that you know and trust.  This alone can result in you having a better time on a date.  You may also feel more comfortable leaving your children with a trusted friend or relative overnight, as opposed to an unknown babysitter.  What does this mean?  It means that in addition to enjoying a traditional date, you may also enjoy a nice, sexual night of privacy, possibly at a nice hotel.

In keeping with childcare that will allow you and your spouse to spend some romantic, intimate, and quality time together, consider approaching other parents.  Do you know the parents of your children’s friends?  If you do, consider making a monthly arrangement with them.  Let them keep your kids for one night and you can do the same for them.  This approach is nice, as you are likely to feel comfortable living your children in the care of another parent.  Also, remember that all parents find it difficult to seek privacy and intimacy.  You may be doing the other set of parents a huge favor.

As important as dating is and can be to your relationship, be realistic.  Not every night can be a date night.  With that said, there are still ways that you can be romantic and intimate with your spouse at home.  For example, sneak in a few hugs and kisses here and here.  When your wife is cooking dinner, walk up to her, rub her back, and plant a kiss on her.  When your husband is walking past you, stop him and give him a quick kiss.  A simple kiss is enough to show your partner that you care and want to be intimate with him, without making your children, who may be watching, feel uncomfortable or out of place.

Another unique and creative way to keep the romance and intimacy alive when you may be unable to have sex or go on a date is the use of text messages.  Do you and your spouse have and use cell phones?  If you do, send them a sexy and seductive text message.  Let them know that you can’t wait until they arrive home.  Even if your partner is sitting across the room from them, send them a quick message.  If you do not own or use a cell phone, know that a handwritten love note can be just as effective.

As you can see, there are a number of ways that you, as parents, can still have a happy and healthy sex life.  Implement a few of these steps to help keep your relationship and its romance alive and well.

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