How To Set Personal Boundaries To Lessen Your Dependence On Others

Do you spend a large amount of your time trying to please others? Do you think that this is the only way that can make yourself happy? If you do then it is time for you to change. The most effective way to do this is to set up personal boundaries so that you can lessen your dependence on other people to be truly happy.

Without any boundaries in place other people will believe that they can treat you just how they want to. A boundary is really just a set of rules that you live by and others have to abide by in their dealings with you.

When you set up effective personal boundaries you are on your way to establishing healthier relationships with other people as well as yourself. Each of your boundaries specify what you will permit in your life and what you will not.

With each boundary you create there can be physical or emotional components or both. Think about your boundaries of the start of your independence and your safety net. Once you have decided what your boundaries will be you need to tell others what they are. If someone then tries to violate one of your boundaries you need to let them know they have done this.

So here we will take a look at some of the most effective personal boundaries that you can establish.

Setting Boundaries is not a Selfish Act

Before we get into the specific boundaries you can set we want you to realize that this is not a selfish act. This will be healthy for you and it can be good for those around you too. When you set boundaries you are telling others how you see a healthy relationship working. It doesn’t mean that you want people out of your life for good.

Start with Small Boundaries first

If people have been walking all over you for a long time to get what they want it will be a major shock for them that you are going to introduce boundaries. So it is best to make some small changes to begin with on your journey to independence and freedom.

Perhaps you have a full calendar of appointments and tasks that are all based around helping others. A good first step could be to get rid of some of these commitments so that you can have more time for yourself. Be prepared for some resistance here but persevere with it. In time people will get the message.

Be Realistic

We absolutely encourage you to set goals for yourself to improve your life and lessen your dependency on others. But we ask that you are realistic about this in terms of the time that you have available.

If you want to learn a new skill and you need to attend school to do this is this a practical solution for you? You can certainly cut out some of your commitments to free up more time but if you have young children is it practical for you to attend school? Find a practical solution and go for it.

Create a Speaking Out boundary

Do you speak your mind? Most people that are at the beck and call of others a lot do not do this. Since they were a child they have been told to put the needs of others first and not to question anything. But sometimes things get too much and you have to speak out.

This is not going to be an easy one for you at first if you are not used to speaking out but persist with it anyway. Learn how to be more assertive rather than antagonistic. With any boundary you set it is important to stick by it no matter how uncomfortable it gets.

How To Be More Confident And Less Dependent On Others

If you are someone who is often concerned about what others think about you then this can really tank your self confidence. Being reliant on others to feel good about yourself is a bad situation to be in. If you had higher confidence levels then you wouldn’t need to do this so much, if at all.

So in this article we will provide you with some proven methods to increase your self confidence. The first method will give you an instant confidence boost and the others will take more time and consistent effort. Make a commitment to work on your self confidence every day because it is so important for your independence.

Create Confidence through Motion

People that are low on self confidence often have a poor body posture. They tend to sit around a lot or lie on the couch and these things have a negative impact on your confidence levels. It is easy to make yourself feel down and even depressed if you use bad posture.

Let’s say that you have been invited to a party by one of your best friends. You are not feeling confident because you know that there will be a lot of people there you have not met before. But you don’t want to let your friend down so you accept the invitation.

What body posture will you adopt when you are walking in a room full of strangers? Will you slouch your way in with your shoulders dropped and your head down? This is great if you don’t want to meet anyone new and have a lousy time.

But if you want to enjoy yourself then change your posture. Stand tall and throw your shoulders back. Lift your head up so that you can make eye contact with people. Put a confident smile on your face. Practice this in the mirror before going to the party. It will make you feel great!

Address your Negative Thinking

Unconfident people usually have a lot of negative thoughts swirling around in their heads. These thoughts tell them that they are a loser and their life is worthless. If this is happening to you then you need to take control of your thoughts.
This is going to take time and practice so you need to accept that you have to keep working on it. If you have a negative thought which says “you are worthless” then neutralize this with a positive thought like “I am great and have a lot to offer”.

Practice this until it becomes automatic. Getting rid of negative thought spirals will do wonders for your self confidence. You will feel a whole lot better about yourself and ready for any challenges that you may face.

Don’t Idolize other People

Too many people idolize others and this is just crazy. They hang on to their every word on social media and want to live their life like them. But what they don’t know is that this person has a lot of flaws and they are far from perfect.

There is no problem with looking up to certain people because they have more knowledge or experience than you and you can learn from them. But you will never be free and really develop your self confidence if you just idolize them.

Be Proud of Yourself

You have come a long way in life and you have many things that you can feel proud of. There have been a number of problems that you needed to overcome and you did that. So reflect on the great things that you have done before for a great self confidence boost.