Ways To Boost Your Self Esteem After Making Bad Comparisons

If you are someone that keeps making bad comparisons with others that make you feel negatively about yourself then your self esteem is going to be low. When you see that your neighbor has a brand new car and your car is years old then you can go into a negative spiral which will lower your self esteem dramatically.

You start to question your worth. “Why don’t I earn enough money to buy a new car?” and other similar thoughts fill your head. This is not rational behavior as you don’t know the full story. Your neighbor might have received the car as part of his job or even leased it. All you are focusing on is the pain and the fact that you are not good enough.

So if you find yourself in a situation like this how can you boost your self esteem so that you stop having such a low opinion of yourself which makes you feel terrible? We have some great techniques for you in this article.

List your previous Achievements

We have all achieved a number of things in our lives and often don’t give ourselves any credit for doing this. Just because millions of other people passed their driving test doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t give yourself credit for doing this too.

Take some time out and write down some of your past achievements. If you had to overcome a number of challenges to achieve something then these need to be on your list. It doesn’t matter how insignificant you think these achievements are. Just write them down and reflect on how well you did.

Stop Dwelling in the Past

Something that will definitely affect your self esteem in the wrong way is to dwell on the past mistakes you have made. Everyone makes mistakes but people with high self esteem learn from their mistakes and move on. They don’t keep raking up the past so that it influences their future.

A lot of people believe that if they tried something once and failed that they will never be able to do this in the future. Do you think like this? So if you wanted to learn Spanish in the past and gave up after a few days this means that you will never be able to learn Spanish. This is just ridiculous and you are letting your past rule you.

Look your Best

A lot of people with low self esteem get to the point where they do not care how they present themselves to the world. If you are a man then maybe you haven’t had a shave for a few days and you look terrible.

To give yourself a much needed boost shave off that horrible stubble now and put on some nice clothes. If you are a woman then get your hair done or your nails. Buy some new clothes that you can wear outside with pride. This will give your self esteem a much needed boost.

Don’t let Fear hold you back

We all have irrational fears that we carry around with us. People with low self esteem can have a lot more of these than others do. The best way to boost your self esteem in this situation is to tackle a fear head on and do it anyway.

This is not going to be easy for you but once you have challenged this fear and done something that scared you before you will feel so much better about yourself. So identify an irrational fear today and just go for it!

How To Stop Being Dependent On Others For Your Happiness

People often get confused about what over dependency really is. It is perfectly natural and healthy to want to be in a loving relationship with someone. You are dependent on their love and they are dependent on theirs.

There are a lot of couples where one of the partners works to earn money while the other stays at home and takes care of the children. This is fine too as long as both partners have an equal say in the relationship and a level of independence to pursue their own goals and dreams.

What is not healthy is being overly dependent on someone, or even a group of people, for your happiness and contentment. If you feel obliged to spend all of your time and energy making someone else happy so that you can be happy then this is not a healthy situation.

A lot of people in this situation become obsessed about the thoughts that others have of them. They are constantly trying to please another person in order to have peace of mind. Before long this can really spiral out of control and you can find yourself overly dependent on another individual.

So if you are in this situation just how do you get out of it? Well you can get out of it but it will take some time and effort on your part. Here are some recommended ways that you can use to gradually free yourself from over dependence.

Improve your Self Worth

Depending on others for your happiness is usually a sign that a person’s self worth is very low. Nobody should have to be dependent on someone else to feel happy and alive. By increasing your self worth you will gradually alleviate the need for this dependency.

Think about what you have achieved in your life so far so that you can identify your strengths. People with low self worth often say that they do not have any strengths but this is not true at all.

If you are influenced too much by what others think then you may have even developed skills just to please them. These skills do nothing for your self worth or independence. So think about what you have achieved for you in your life and reflect on these to give you a boost.

Look for Happiness within rather than outside

A lot of people are conditioned to believe that they can only be happy if they only have certain things around them – which includes people. For some, having a lot of possessions is the key to happiness.

But all of these things are really doing is filling a hole in your life. It is better to look for happiness within yourself. That way if you lost everything tomorrow you can still be happy. Consider meditation as an effective way to do this.

Be at ease with yourself

How do you feel about spending time alone? Does this make you uncomfortable? Everyone should be at ease spending time alone. If you have a problem with this then you need to deliberately find ways to be on your own and become more comfortable with this.

Take Responsibility for your Life

To lessen your dependency on others you need to take responsibility for your life. Tell yourself that you are responsible for your happiness and how your life will pan out in the future. Set yourself some goals and do things your way.

How To Love Yourself More When You Worry About What Others Think

How do you feel about the concept of self love? Some will think that this is narcissistic and a very selfish act. But the truth is that it isn’t. What self love really is about is having a high opinion of yourself and be able to feel happy whenever you want.

If you worry about what other people think about you too much you can become overly dependent on them to give you permission to be happy. This is not where you want to be. In this situation you have very little self love and can only be happy when others tell you that you have done something right or that you deserve it.

It is important that you work on your self love so that you can be more independent from others. There is an old saying along the lines of “you need to love yourself first before you can truly love someone else”. This is very true so in this article we will give you some powerful techniques to improve your self love.

Change your Beliefs

If you are letting other people control your life then you will probably have beliefs that are driving you to do this. Each time that you act on these beliefs you will strengthen them. The good news is that you can change these beliefs and replace them with empowering beliefs that will increase your self love and your independence.

This all starts by identifying the beliefs that are causing the dependency. Get a pen and paper and write down the thoughts that you have which drive you to require approval from others all of the time. Once you have established these beliefs you can use techniques to slowly eradicate them and replace them with more positive beliefs.

Create Empowering Affirmations

If you don’t use positive affirmations then it is time to start today. Write a list of positive things about yourself so that you can say them out loud or in your head at least once a day. Imagine if someone was complimenting you. What would they say?

Write all of these down and create an affirmations list. You will need to carry these around with you all of the time because they can be a great way to give you a self love boost if you are feeling down. We recommend that you read your affirmations twice a day, once in the morning and once at night.

Neutralize Negative Self Talk

Do you experience a lot of negative thoughts about yourself on a regular basis? We all have self talk going on in our heads and if this is largely negative then your self love will be down in the dumps. You need to take control of these negative self thoughts in order to improve your self love.

Each time you experience a negative thought neutralize it with a positive one. So for example if the thought is “you cannot make a decision for yourself” neutralize this with “I am a powerful decision maker and always make the best decisions”.

Show Gratitude Regularly

How grateful are you for the things that you have in your life? We are not just talking about possessions here but other things such as the love of your family and your health. Start being grateful each day for what you have.

Write down each day three things that you are grateful for and read them and think about how they make you feel. It doesn’t matter what these things are. You could be grateful for that mundane job that puts food on your table. Or just be grateful for being alive another day.